Listen, I am not talking about the usual meaningless New Year's '' I will stop smoking!'' type of resolutions people make and forget within the next hour. No! I am talking about an honest to God, spirit-convinced, seat of the soul type of declaration that only a real man can make.
So what's the big deal you might say? The big deal is that such a declaration has the power to change lives, alter destinies, shape children's lives, affect the next generation and even influence future marriages?
Future marriages?
All our young children and teenagers, boys in particular copy what we as parents do or say. Our sons ingest and adopt our tone of voice, behavioral patterns, viewpoints, manners, mannerisms, beliefs and the ideologies we express around them.
If a man speaks rudely to his wife, calls her names, curses and regularly belittles his wife, his son copies all these behaviors, falsely believing them to be the acceptable standard of male to female communication in relationships.
No wonder date rape, date violence & verbal abuse rates amongst teenagers are on the increase! As Dads we have a duty to look in the mirror and decide to change. That is the measure of a real man, a real dad.
Contrary to what we are taught, men are not born. No! Men are raised, shaped, molded and directed as they come of age. Talking down to women (your spouse in particular) in front of your kids or in front of anyone else needs to stop! If you as a husband, boy friend, fiance or partner have not been talking tenderly to your other half, its not too late, you can start afresh now.It's never too late. You have nothing to lose!
Now speaking as one real man to another, allow me to refresh your mirror (your mind) again about what this is really all about.
Yes, my friend. The declaration you make today to speak softly, tenderly, respectfully, lovingly and kindly to your wife has an effect on how your son or daughter come to view their partners, spouses or quasi-matrimonial relationships in future.
Listen:
1. It is a statement of who you are as a man and a reflection of your measure as a man when you honor the woman in your life by lifting her up. An uplifted woman is a happy mother, a happy wife and a ready to please ally.
2. When you lift her up, act nicely towards her, she will reciprocate. The dividend is a peaceful home environment and isn't that what you want?
3. When you talk to her gently, say good and encouraging things to her and about her, she will love you even more.
4. When you listen to her you will be blessed. By listening I mean making the effort to hear what she is really saying & responding like you've really heard her. The reward is far more than you can ever imagine.
So let me ask you this question - How far are you willing to go to show your worth as a real man?
Lastly, let me help you with these three hints:
1. Speak politely all the time to your wife or partner. Settle all arguments within an hour or two - max!
2. Be nice, open doors, give her roses, and send her very uplifting greeting cards. She will adore you for it.
3. Repeat these words: I LOVE YOU! Say it a million times and never get tired of saying it to her. It will bear much fruit!
Of course there's always the opportunity to do more if you want to.
Do more?
Yes, take out the garbage, help clean the house, cook her a surprise meal for a change, and spend time with her just listening, chilling, talking and sharing...
Listen:
No matter how angry she makes you, never, ever hit your woman!
Never?
The answer is Never!
That my friend is the true Measure of a Man!
(c) Bishop JSS Hopewell 2011
